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Trump Resigns!

I wanted to get this breaking news to you as quickly as possible.

TRUMP RESIGNS! Washington D. C. In a shocking development from the Oval office today, President Donald Trump announced his resignation at 9:00 am Eastern time. He is only the second U.S. president to resign from office. In what analysts are calling the most stunning self-assessment in presidential history, Trump admitted: "I have come to realize that because of my arrogance, ignorance and incompetence, I am not fit to serve in this office, and I am incapable of preserving, protecting and defending our Constitution. Thus, I have decided to take responsibility for the first time in my life, and, in the best interests of our country, I have decided to step down as your President." The resignation is to take effect this afternoon at 5:00 pm Eastern time, at which time Vice-President Pence will take the oath of office for the presidency. The President took some time in his 10-minute farewell address to acknowledge some of those who had enabled what he described as his "shameful and corrupting behavior."  He recognized his staff and especially Vice-President Pence for their unrelenting kiss-ass treatment of his fragile ego over the past three and a half years.  He acknowledged the Republicans in the House and Senate who had so easily ignored their consciences and so cheaply abdicated their moral responsibilities. And he singled out Fox News because it had "willingly misled the American public and enthusiastically capitulated to my false claims and reckless conspiracy theories." In a particularly touching moment that had him close to tears, he went off script, looked directly into the camera, and asked his fellow citizens to "please forgive me for my incessant lying, for my demeaning treatment of anyone who disagreed with me or was weaker than me, and for my penchant to make up fake numbers and alternative facts to confuse and mislead you." He clearly seemed to be trying to make amends before his departure. In a rare demonstration of candor, he apologized for his constant efforts to undermine a free press, to raise doubts about our judicial system and to cause division in the country.  Reaction internationally and nationally to the surprise announcement was swift. In a joint statement to the world press, Kim Jong-il and Vladimir Putin expressed their disappointment at the decision: "Say it ain't so, Donald! You have helped us so much. We will miss your adulation and gullibility." Other world leaders also responded. Angela Merkel and Emmanuel Macron issued their own joint statement: "We know this must have been a very hard decision, Mr. President. But we are so pleased you have done the right thing for once." Other European leaders seemed hopeful. One leader in NATO was heard to say off-mic: "Thank Goodness. We might actually be treated as allies again." At home, some had tears at the news.  White supremacists bemoaned the fact that they would no longer hear dog whistles from the Rose Garden. Jerry Falwell Jr., who facilitates the contagion of the coronavirus by bringing his college students together, petitioned, "Oh, Donald! Who are we supposed to pray to now?" Dan Patrick, concerned about losing the senior vote, worried, "How will I get re-elected now?" Michael Lindell wondered, "What will happen to sales of MyPillow?" Others saw something positive in the announcement. Republican and Democratic governors, as well as local mayors and county officials, congratulated President Trump on his decision, realizing that they now might actually get those ventilators and PPE that they so desperately need. The vast majority of Americans seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief. Might the bitterness, incivility and meanness of this administration really be coming to an end?  Might we actually become more united, caring and supportive in this time of the coronavirus crisis?  Americans could only hope. But wait....I interrupt this breaking news... APRIL FOOLS!....unfortunately. But November is coming. Good Health and Good Luck Ray

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